In his book, Assholes: A Theory, Aaron James’ describes when someone is an asshole.
We have a certain set of rules, norms, and principles that apply to everyone. But an asshole somehow figures out a way to not apply them to themselves and then insulate themselves from scrutiny.
So it’s not that they don’t believe in the rules, they somehow don’t believe in the rules as they apply to themselves. And then they figure out some justification to insulate themselves from scrutiny for why it shouldn’t apply to them.
Now, if they have a legitimate reason why it shouldn’t apply to themselves, then potentially they’re not an asshole. But if they’re consistently doing this, then they probably are an asshole.
So the example that Aaron James uses is the scenario of a surfer. Surfers have to wait in line for the next big wave. But some surfers think to themselves, I’m too good to be waiting. I shouldn’t have to wait in this line. These are all amateur surfers. I’m a better surfer. Many people are like this.
One hypothesis is that it’s because people’s critical thinking skills are on the decline. To build up your critical thinking skills, you need to read books that challenge you and force you to connect the dots.
Why connect the lack of critical thinking skills to being an asshole?
Because people are no longer questioning their underlying assumptions. They’re just going with things. “I’m doing this because I deserve to.” Instead of asking, what is the principle that I believe in that governs this behavior? Am I equally applying it to myself or to other people? This requires a certain amount of abstraction, questioning assumptions, of actual critical thinking.
You can avoid this by not applying rules unfairly to yourself and then figuring out a way to justify it. And the way to avoid that is to actually look at the rules behind certain social norms. Assholes are not people who disagree with the social norm. They agree with it as it applies to everyone, just not applied to themselves.
